My Life in Simple Words
My account as I journey through Life
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Saturday, August 07, 2004


There are times (actually most times) that I really hate the guy I see on the mirror every time I look at it. There are things I do which I convince, threaten (imagine), pray, advice (I have gone to that extent) and tell (who said its only crazy guys who talk to themselves...) myself not to do but I find myself after sometimes going back and doing them.

Right now am just feeling wack with my self and knowing that am a thief, liar, pervert, lazy and an emotional reck. At times I can't even understand or seem to know myself any better. And this makes me afraid that I will at times do something that will eve shock myself.

I do wonder what really God has to say about me and what He sees in me, especially when He sees me doing exactly what I had promised Him not to do and what He told me not to do.

I have even had moments where I even want to run away from myself, my so called life, friends and the whole world at large. Guess the reality is that I don't enjoy anything about me that may make me to look back and be proud of what I have done.

The more I look inside me, The more I discover unfulfilled expections and desires, hurts (lots of it), anger, low self esteem, and defects (Which I won't go into right now). Am actually a hazard to myself and I pray that I won't get to myself (okayyy this words I got from pink).

There is another world inside of me, which most pple don't see and secrets which seem to remind me of how fabble I am.

Well I was in the office since 11.00am, but there was no internet (we were disconnected but I don't know the story behind it) so thats why am updating my blog now and in a hurry since its getting late ands which also means that I didn't update the comps at NAV'S. Newspaper guy has been given the special task of configuring our linux server, wanted to got there as see what he was doing but changed my mind about it since I knew I wasn't being honest with myself. Later heard the MD praising a lady who used to school here and how she used to pass here exams, and this stirred memories which I still know have yet disappered.

Tomorrow being a sunday I don't have major plans apart from going to church in the morning. I aslo hoped to do some ironing too (but lets wait and see).

So with that let me wish you all a nice weekend.

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