My Life in Simple Words
My account as I journey through Life
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Friday, September 03, 2004

My life

Yesterday I left the office feeling so angry and mad to the extent of wnating to scream at evert person I met, and if that wasn't worse enough I got into the bus and I meet with theadministrator, which forces me to start talking in the bus something that I distaste, to make matters worse I seat next to a bunch of guys who just irritate me to the core.

So what caused all this...........It just happened and it happened just as I was going home. I don't know where this feeling come from but when they do, I end up feeling like shit and this make me do something that aint right and will end up making me feel all guilty. And that's exactly is what I ended up doing.

Late last month (since we are already in sept.),I did something that I had never done before or even thought of doing (I never imagined myself doing it, which goes to show that you never know the kind of person you are until put in certain situations and the person that emerges is totally different from the one you know or are used to.). To me I thought I was strong to fight such a thing and since there was no moral justification to doing it then I didn't see any need of doing it. But to make matters worse I knew It was wrong. What hurts me and scares me is that thought it was over and I will never do It again, but I went back and did it on the same same day;I confessed, prayed about it and vowed never to do it, but guess what come yesterday and what do I find my self doing MSB.

I never thought it would turn out to this, the act has brought about so much shame, guilt and filth, disgust and lowlessness in my life, that now I wish I never did it in the first place. Am begging God to help me not go back again and uproot this vice from me completely. I have also discovered I have a part to play as far as the thing I see, say or think are concerned and I need to change most of it. I will not go into details right now but all I can say is that I need deliverance and I need it quick.

I really do have a lot of things in my life to settle and the lat thing I want is another sin that just proves to be a thorn in the flesh. I really do blame myself for all of this, and not listening to the spirit wheh He warned me about it, but die to my sturborn heart and allowing myself to be ruled by the flesh, I went ahead and did it. And now it has taken me far than I wanted to go, made me pay more that I thought I would pay and caused so much anguish in my life.

God if you are reading this please help me get rid of this problem in mylife completely and don't let it have a hold on me. Deliver me, cleanse me, purify me and don't take your Holyspirit away from me for I don't know what I will do without Him in my life. Give me one more chance Lord and this time I mean it.

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