My Life in Simple Words
My account as I journey through Life
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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Silent Tears

I think there should be a rehab center for guys who are addicted to blogging, since that's exactly what I think I am...a blog addicted. All this is because I seem to feel down and sad if I fail to post anything here nowadays.

I can't say alot has changed in that short time I have been away and neither can I say that nothing hasn't happened as well.So hang on and enjoy the ride with mew as I go about telling you what I have been upto and what I haven,'t been upto.

Well Sunday wasn't all that bad neither was it all that good since I ended up making a fool out my self infront of other blinkers(that what I heard them being called)in the name of trying to impress them and prove to them that I too can be good at this game. But what annoys me more is the fact that am back to this again even after leaving DC and Co-group because of it. My desire was to have a fresh start with God and just leave a life that isn't after trying to prove myself or impress anyone but a life that is after Him and Him alone; but what am seeing is the opposite.

But with the dawning of such truth, I still believe there is room for change and time to get back on track and continue this race that has been set before me and fight this fight of truth.

The sermon was great, but I was late as usual since I was trying to catch up with my sleep which seemed to have accumulated as a result of having being sleeping late. Pastor John was actually concluding on the meaning of the letters HOPE as far as Hope center is concerned and E in this case stood for Evangelize. After making a fool of myself during blink I didn't stay any longer since I had to go to nav's. All in all themuscian was there and so with the crew but didn't bother with them that much.

Earier during the week mary(will be referred to as miss.innocent) told me there will be visitors from some of the school here in the city and she need my help with in the kitchen. Coupled with the joy of seeing new faces, making new friends, sampling different foods and feasting ones eyes upon lovely beings, I said yes. Come Sunday, I go there and guess what our visitors have decided to cancel there visit; was I mad with myself!

The week didn't fail to start with same issues, one of them being I drove myself back to the very very same problem I have been trying to avoid and overcome all this time (and which thanks to God I had managed to keep myself clean for a whole two weeks). I can't say there is any reason or justification whatsover as to why I did it but all I can say is I really felt bad about it afterwards. So if you are there and are reading this and believe in the power of prayer please pray for me.

Went to compassion today in the morning, which actually gave me the perfect excuse to sleep for more hours and wake up a bit late than usual. I had gone to take my statement for the final payment before my departure. I took some gifts to them (don't ask me why since I don't seem to have an answer to that myself.

The newrecruit is still here with me but I still wnat her to be moved dowm to training.

All in all am fine.

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