WHAT HAPPENED?

My thoughts are abit blurred and exhausted right now from all the happenings, emotions, talking I have had to come across today and the cold that I have been trying to cure since saturday. But I will try to get to the point and get this over with.

With the dawning of a tuesday, I found the freedom I enjoyed yesterday was shortlived since, the offices have suddenly become polluted with humanity, telephone and computer noises; something that was there yesterday.

The arrival of humanity also brought about the issue of having to face pple like smartkid and bureauguy, not forgetting theothers. And this encounters most of the time leaves me arching, angry symapthetic and pretentious (if there is word like that)to them and to myself, something I really distaste.

A good example is like today where, in the process of trying to nurse this cold, bureaguy comes bugging into my office (didn't even have the courtesy of knocking or even opening the door slowing) and with an authoritative voice demand I give him my floppy (mark the words my floppy). I knew if I said I didn't have one (all my floppies have stuff that I don't like deleting, since if I do so, I end my losing them one way or the other) he would have gone ahead and starting saying how mean and selfish I am......(not less than once have he done this). Well I gave them the floppy so I could get ride of them.

Well the climax was the arrival of smartkid who I had been trying to avoid since morning (guess you can run but you can't hide). My intial reaction was "Hi there how was your weekend" but inside I was "What the hell do you want now", which goes to prove, that when love is surpressed it lead to contempt.

During the day, after I discovered one of my computers was being used as a 'prototype', and taking it, I learnt that bureauguy was the one who went ahead and took it without my permission. And On my way back I overheard him say how disgusted he was with me and how he felt like getting ride of me...and do you want to know who was laughing to this and enjoying every bit of it....smartkid, who later comes to ask for my HELP! (how stupid is that!)

And the part that aches most is that I went ahead and helped the !#!@#!@# fellow, even when my heart was still arching from that scenario. why do I do this? A few minutes later the other !#@#@% comes in laughing at me as though nothing had happened. Am I that dirty a mat to be wiped on by everyone?

I had warned myself about this two and I guess am paying the price for having not listened to myself in the first place. What consoles me (and also saddens me) is that smartkid will be leaving soon. But as for bureauguy.....I still don't know.....

This and other things not worth taking about have happened, and I just hope I will still have the strength I need when this weeks comes to an end.

I have decided to volunteer myself for expo, with the hopes of getting out of here for a while, since I also know I will have the opportunity of travelling abit, something I terribly miss and need to do, to save my remaining senity, which preferably will bring me back to self composure.

I just hope am making the right decision.