Sweet realizations


Gosh I can't believe that the year is finally coming to an end, and tomorrow will be a brand new beginning and a brand new year.

But when I look back at the year and see from where I began upto now, I can honestly say "Its the Lord". Its also true that am not the person that I was in the beginning; I have grown in certain places, I have failed in various places, I have made so good choices and at the same time I have made some very stupid ones, I have cried and at the same time I have laughed, I have had my share of disappointments and as well I have had my moments of success and to cap it all I have shared out love but I don't know whether I can say I received it back.

The journey has been long; through months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds. There have been times when I wished I was dreaming, there times I wished the moments would last forever. There were times I asked myself why and for what reason I had to run this race and there were times I ran this race with full vigour and determination even when there was none left; for I knew why and for what reason I was running.

On top of that I managed to make friends, friends who have lasted this long, friends who came back after along time of absence and friends who we parted ways as the year progressed. But this was alright with me since I knew from the beginning that there are friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime. Some of the friends turned out to be a worthwhile investment others turned out to be a great liability.

I have met pain, I have encountered great sorrow and depression, I have fought guilt and low self worth, I experienced anger, I have had to live with loneliness, I have touched rejection, and above all that I have seen love and I have give it as well.

As I journeyed on I have slipped so many times and there reached a time where I didn't even see the need of rising up again when I knew so very well I would slip again; but still I rose dusted my self up and continued with the journey. Even though I had mud all around me and smelt and looked dirty I still pressed on and up to now am still pressing on. And now that I have come to the river, the river that cleanses, its time to clean myself up and be ready for another great adventure ahead of me; I don't know whether I will be wholly clean or will have to take some of the dirt with me, but the good thing is that I will have tried to clean myself.

The journey ahead feels scary but what comforts me is the fact that all the other journeys have felt the same way. I don't know what lies ahead of me, neither do know whats in store for me. I don't know whether the year will be great than this one or worse but all I can do is to go in confidence bult-up my belts and be ready for whatever comes along.

So what do I want this year I ask! Well, I would have gone ahead to ask for things I always fantasize about, my dreams to come true, great success both career wise and social wise and the usual ahouse on top of the Hill, cars in the garage and a very fat bank account BUT I came to my senses and realized this is what I wanted this year and last year; so I had to go back to the drawing board. And what I really want this year is God's Glory to go before me, His hand to guide me, His grace to take me through and His favour upon my life and that's my prayer and request this year.

To my bloggers: Mshairi and nicholasgichu all I can say is areti Dede Yin and may you find love, peace and success this year.

To the year that was all I can say is good ridance (sp.) and sweet memories, to the year that will be, "may thou bring great tidings and great joy to the hearts of those that walk in your time"

And that Ladies and gentlemen brings me to the end of my Blog as of the Year 2004.


The end!