My Life in Simple Words
My account as I journey through Life
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Friday, February 25, 2005

UNWINDING

I have just been experiencing lots of insecurity about myself, my desire to let go of my old habits, the job am in right now and so many other things.

I don't know why I keep doing the things I know I shouldn't do, even with the full knowledge of the fact that the mistakes will come to haunt me in the end.

I feel so confused about the direction am taking, the place I am in right now, the things I want and what I really want to do for God.

My life feels so messed up and to make it worse everything I do and say nowadays just goes to make it even worse.

I don't look forward coming to work anymore and the enviroment seems just to drain me of my enery and zeal to fight. The work doesn't interest me anymore and this has somehow made me Lazy and uninterested with what goes on around the office and my collegues.

Nowadays I get angered to quickly and I don't seem to have control over my anger. There is this sense of saddness and gloom that hangs over me almost daily which makes me feel so tired.

People seem to be a bother, I don't seem to have the heart to help anymore and the little energy left in me feels too precious to use on people.

Is it change am after? I don't know. What then do I want? I still don't know. Am really trying to sound positive and look at what am going through with the correct mind set. But am tired of denying my true feeling and what am going through.

Stagnation and irrevance seem to be the dorminatiing feelings of late, and I can bet they have brought about others that I don't think I have the courage to go into right now.

I guess I have reached that point where I would give anything to know where I stand, my place in this life and what is in store for me in the times to come.

Comments:
Sasa moggs,
I think we need to talk

Areti dede yin
 
Thats wierd, its like you read my mind. I was struggling to get out of bed this morning (as usual)and the guy on radio said something profound "If you don't like something, change it, if you can't change it, change your attitude towards it."
Change is something that can sometimes be paralyzing but if we look at what we will be gaining instead of what might be lost(like security, friends, comfort) it might make taking that initial step easier.
 
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