My Life in Simple Words
My account as I journey through Life
My Life In Simple Words <$BlogRSDURL$>

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Someone asked me whether I have any happy posts and if so not a poem (no mentioning of names...for the sake of harmonization). Well today am going to make a post, that's funny and at the same time not a poem.

26 Things the Movies Taught You...

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the
price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut.
You will always choose the right one.

4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communications system of any invading alien society.

5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom
will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world
expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down
three days before their retirement.

9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch
enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems,
deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their
captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit
level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French

12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in
the control tower to talk you down.

13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian
officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian
accent will do.

16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating,
but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through
it before long.

19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing underwear.

20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always
say: “Enter Password Now.”

21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary
to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few

22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from

24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet
will know all the steps.

25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total

26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak
to each other in English.

From a friend!

Mr Moments,

I thought I had come to the wrong blog :-)

Thanks for making me laugh. I really enjoyed the list.

Stay Happy...
mr moments: thats fresh

u forgot
-steven segall never gets hurt. as long as he has a black suit,som form of martial arts technique and a real-mamajunkyard pony tail
-gettin laid don't get u AIDS
-no one takes a leak or takes a dump...unless ur watchin those comedies i so love!!!!
Hilarious. Kwanza number 4!
and cars can reach some crazy speeds when in reverse gear.
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